As a complete shopaholic I’m used to have several running thoughts when going shopping. Though this post is a bit of a parody, these are genuine thoughts I have had while shopping, I’m sure I’m not alone…..almost sure.
1. “OMFG I WANT EVERYTHING!!”
Ok, calm down girl. I know you’re in heaven and all you want to do is roll around in all the sexy items, but listen they don’t allow that. You will get your ass kicked out if you’re caught licking those bags. But the bag down, and walk away.
10 times out of 10, yes, yes you are. And I say go for it! For that reason only, it’s cheap. We all love cheap. If you don’t wear it or get use out of it who cares, it didn’t break the bank. Just get the tacky emoji tshirt it’s only €3, Penneys finest hun.
3. “I’d like it if it came in black”
THIS IS ME ALL THE TIME. Now there’s’can’t afford’, meaning you have the money but you know you shouldn’t spend it, and there ‘can’t afford’, where you genuinely don’t have the money. But if the money is in your purse, get it. You love it, you’re going to be thinking about it. You’ve already made outfits in your head around it. Money comes and goes but the feeling of being hot as shit will last as long as the cotton on that dress, my friend.
5.” I want it but already have tonnes of the same”
Listen, you have tonnes of the same because you know you get the wear out of it. Sure, it’s good to get pieces that aren’t your normal style but if you have something that’s your staple, get it. Get it in every colour, every pattern. Own it. Werk it.
6. “Do I really need another pair of shoes?”
Why do we even ask ourselves this? This should never be questioned. Of course you do. Price of those uncomfortable but beautiful Kurt Geiger platforms, that you know you will only wear on nights out where you know you won’t be standing/ dancing: €200. Cost of looking cute af: Priceless.
Trust me, you don’t. It’s the mirrors. Stores get joy from seeing our pain with those distorted mirrors and bad lighting.
8. “I don’t think I can buy anymore, I have no room in my wardrobe”
Pitiful excuse. Leave them in their bags. Get rid of your bed, it’s only in the way. You can sacrifice a bed and sleep on the couch for those clothes can’t you?
9.” I shouldn’t have bought that”
Basically, you never want to go shopping with me because I will encourage the spending of money.